Friday, December 16, 2011

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990







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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson







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    Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter

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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown

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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown





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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown

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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836









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  • --------------

    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash

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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash

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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett

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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold