Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Bond ... James Bond

In a story that sounds like something straight out of a James Bond movie,
Sexpot spy Anna Chapman came close to snaring a member of President Obama's inner circle in a honey trap, a top U.S. intelligence official has claimed... In a documentary broadcast last night, FBI counter-intelligence chief Frank Figliuzzi claimed the glamorous Russian agent got close enough to 'disturb' U.S. spy catchers.
He said the fear that Miss Chapman was close to seducing a sitting member of the Obama administration spurred agents to swoop on the 10-strong spy ring of which she was a part... Mr Figliuzzi told the Channel 4 documentary the auburn-haired spy got 'closer and closer to higher and higher ranking leadership... she got close enough to disturb us'.
Jeez, I wish the FBI could have held off long enough to catch Ms. Chapman in flagrante delicto with whoever the administration horn-dog is. I'd love to know who is this administration's Bill Clinton or JFK.

Doug Ross speculates, hilariously, on who it might be.

Warning: don't drink liquids while viewing.

Never Trust An Electrician With A Sharpie

Thursday, March 29, 2012

More Late Night Thoughts

My wife and I were watching TV tonight. Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, we get somewhere around 200 channels, all of which seem incapable of broadcasting anything worth watching. But we got lucky and stumbled across a showing of the classic movie Wizard of Oz.

During a commercial break I couldn't help but think about modernizing it, based on current events.

Dick Cheney has already received a heart. Now we can only hope that Joe Biden gets a brain, obama gets some courage, and that a House falls on Pelosi.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Dog Lover

I've had dogs since as long as I can remember, going all the way back to when I was five years old (a dachshund named Brownie. Hey, I was five. How much originality did you expect?)

As I got older the dogs got bigger. During my teen years there was a border collie named Gulliver. (We were a military family, and relocated quite often. Hence Gulliver, for Gulliver's Travels.)

After I left home and was on my own there was a succession of Labrador Retrievers. They have a lot in common with adolescent males. Enthusiastic, energetic, exuberant - not to mention pretty intelligent, but totally lacking in common sense. First was a black lab named Chump, who became impregnated by a German Shepard who possessed the ability to leap a six-foot high cedar privacy fence when the bitch next door was in heat. (The shepherd was named Sergeant, which I felt was appropriate, since he did to my dog what a succession of Army sergeants did to me - figuratively, not literally).

Chump begat Darlin', a yellow lab, who was named in honor of all the blonds I used to date, but whose names I could never remember, so I just called them by the generic term Darlin'.

Darlin' begat Josie, who was the sweetest, calmest, and best behaved Lab I ever knew. To compensate, she was also the dumbest. Josie had perpetual knots on her forehead from trying to chase rabbits and squirrels under our back porch deck. She never learned that a rabbit or squirrel, even running at full speed, could fit underneath the deck's baseboard, but a full-grown Lab could not. Do I really need to add that Josie was a blond?

We currently have a couple of mutts. I wanted another Lab, but was overruled by the wife and kids the day we went to the local animal shelter and saw these two. They're sisters, and also rescue dogs who were taken from an abusive environment and cared for until we adopted them. It's been interesting ... they're fine with women and children, but at first were very leery of men - especially men wearing baseball caps. Obviously they were abused by some asshole in a cap. They've come to tolerate me, but still are unfriendly towards strange men. That's not necessarily a bad thing, since we now have a couple of furry four-legged sentries.

We also have one other dog. This one possess special qualities that have resulted in a number of people asking if they could buy him from us.In fact, there was such demand for him that I was forced to put the following notice in the local paper.


(H/T to Bots for the picture.)